On the Rocky Road of Life

#life #path #selfhelp

The path of life, as we strive to become the best and most fully-realized versions of ourselves, is fraught with unexpected twists and turns. There will inevitably be steep hills to ascend, demanding much energy and resolve, followed by descents on the other side through which we can cruise with minimal effort. Sometimes it is smooth sailing, other times turbulent and laden with potholes. At the best of times, we are privileged to breeze through beautiful landscapes traffic-free, with nary a worry in the world. But when we are less lucky, we encounter roadblocks, obstructions on the path of life that seem to stop our momentum entirely. Knowing how to effectively negotiate these barriers is an essential tool for living a joyful and productive life.

The first thing that must be said is this: roadblocks are inevitable in the path of any well-lived life. We must all accept and embrace the challenges they present to us, rather than shy away from them. When we are able to regard adverse events as opportunities to strengthen ourselves, we not only find the courage to confront them, but grant ourselves the insight to fully profit from surmounting them. This is not to say that one should act recklessly and invite hardship at every juncture, as there are limits to our tolerance. Rather, we should progress through life with an understanding that there will be challenges, and have a willingness to conquer them as they arise.

Oftentimes, the real difficulty with roadblocks is not in clearing them, but in identifying them. It is all too common for travelers on the path of life to reach a point at which they feel they are going nowhere. Though we are acutely aware that something is hindering our progress, the exact nature of the barrier is not obvious to us. It is here that self-reflection plays an invaluable role in helping us to understand what is in our way and to formulate plans to traverse such obstacles. It is not as difficult an exercise as one might imagine, but it is one we all too often overlook, as the fast pace at which we live our modern lives would not seem to allow for moments of quiet contemplation. Nonetheless, it is time we must make for ourselves, vital time in which we disconnect from our devices and the distractions of the outside world and reflect on what is meaningful to us—and what is holding us back. Only then can we get a clear picture of the landscape before us.

Once we have identified an obstacle on the road ahead, we have three choices. The first option is to accelerate and try to break our way through it with force. Alternatively, we could choose to go off-road and avoid the problem altogether. Finally, we can opt to do the work necessary to clear the obstacle and continue on our way. There are glaring pitfalls associated with the first option in which we engage in the challenges of life with brute force, the most obvious being that we will find ourselves ruined the moment encounter a barrier more robust than the limits of our own willpower. Even in cases where we are able to smash through less durable barriers, we are left towing a trail of debris. This is not by any means ideal, and in time will leave us damaged and feeling as though we are dragging the weight of the world behind us. In the second strategy, we spot the roadblock and veer off the road to avoid it. We will take our chances on unpaved roads, we reason, for it is likely to be easier than stopping to clear the obstacle ahead. But is it? In diverging from the carefully crafted path set out for us, we may find ourselves stuck in the mud, or worse—off the end of a cliff. These are metaphors, of course, but apt ones, for the further we stray from the paths down which we are meant to travel, the more likely we are to become lost. Furthermore, in choosing what we perceive as the path of least resistance, we rob ourselves of the benefits of the third and best option of confronting the obstacle head-on and finding a way to clear it. By instead selecting this final course of action and doing the work necessary to remove the roadblock, we come away stronger and better equipped to tackle what rigors may lie ahead.

"The path of least resistance is the path of the loser."

—H. G. Wells

“But what is ‘the work’?” you may wonder. Herein lies the great secret of personal growth. It is a truth whose reality grows progressively more explicit as we become more practiced self-auditors. To the extent that we allow them to be so, all obstacles in the paths of our lives come from within. Therefore, all barriers can be conquered with sufficient self-reflection and the appropriate amount of work on ourselves. It is too convenient—and too common—for us to feel as though we are victims of externalities that are slowing or altogether halting our progress. In the face of great adversity, many of us resort to a belief that fate has dealt us bad hands, and that we were simply not meant to live happy and fulfilled lives, while others were more fortunate and destined for success and lifelong comfort. This is a safe posture, for it effectively absolves us of responsibility for any personal circumstances with which we are not pleased, but it is a false perspective and perhaps the largest possible roadblock we can erect for ourselves. While it is not productive to assign culpability, it is vital to understand that the blockades with which we are confronted have only materialized because we ourselves allowed them to. The question therefore is not “Who do I blame for this?” but “Why am I allowing this to hold me back?” Asking ourselves this simple question allows us to construct a plan for removing the obstruction internally, and it is often surprisingly easy to do, for a great many of the obstacles we encounter are rooted in fears and self-doubts that, under inspection, are quickly revealed to be irrational and misplaced. Best of all, clearing such roadblocks precludes them from recurring in future stretches of your journey through life and arms you with a fuller understanding of your sensibilities.

We are each of us set on a unique path through life. Though precisely where our paths will lead us is impossible to know, it is certain that we will encounter obstacles of a sometimes daunting nature. When such occasions arise, we must meet them head-on and look within ourselves for the strength to remove them. We will invariably come away from such experiences reinforced, reinvigorated, and ready for the journey ahead of us.

On the road of life, remember to keep air in the tires and fuel in the tank, and never forget who is driving.

"If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere."

—Frank A. Clark