A Better You in '22

As one year draws to a close and the promises of another await us, it is common for us to take stock of the past

year’s events, to examine our behaviors throughout those twelve months, and to consider the ways we might improve in the coming year. We then resolve to put some—or perhaps even all—of our findings into action. These resolutions, whatever they may be—losing weight, being kinder to our colleagues, spending more time with our loved ones—are the products of a single annual self-auditing process, a healthy and useful exercise in which we ask ourselves: How can I do better?

Now, the trouble with this arrangement, as so many of us know from personal experience, is that these resolutions can be very difficult to stick to. By February, many New Year’s resolutions have already begun to wane. By March, we may have abandoned them completely. And by the time the next year arrives, our resolutions may be such distant memories that we reissue them as if they were new, with no consideration of our previous failures. What results is a cycle, a sort of game we play with ourselves in which the meaning of “resolve” is lost entirely. We are effectively negating the very purpose of our self-audit. Perhaps we are even doing worse than that. After all, what is more distressing—being ignorant of one’s shortcomings or being aware of them and doing nothing about it?

Of course, the solution to this is not to berate ourselves for losing our resolve. While accountability is important, it is not constructive to wallow in self-hatred over goals not realized. What we must do instead is refine our objectives. “Set realistic goals” is common—and good—advice, but it can be difficult to gauge where such a bar lies, particularly when one is making a first effort at achieving something. What tends to result is an arbitrary adjustment of numbers, e.g., “Instead of losing 20 pounds this year, I’m aiming to lose 12.” If you have never set out to lose weight before, how can you be sure that losing 12 pounds over the course of one year is any more realistic than losing 20? What if it were not the amount of pounds we adjusted, but the timeframe? What if, instead of self-auditing once a year, we did it regularly?

After all, in all but the rarest of cases, life and all its myriad facets are not measured in terms of leaps, but in small steps. For every one lottery winner, there are thousands of hard-working men and women who earn their fortunes gradually. For every prodigy, there are a thousand others whose paths to mastery were paved in toil to their trades. Would it not be more productive, then, to set our goals to the short-term? To return to the ubiquitous weight example, suppose that instead of resolving to lose 12 pounds in a year, we committed to losing 1 pound each month. But that is exactly the same thing, you may be thinking—12 pounds is 12 pounds. While I would agree that the two are functionally the same, I would ask you to consider which is more likely to succeed—the plan that one must stick to for one year or the month-to-month plan? For a multitude of reasons, it is the latter.

When we shorten the distance to our goalposts, we ensure that they are always within sight. We also give ourselves a valuable checkpoint at which to conduct another self-audit. After one month, we can ask ourselves, Did we reach our goal? If not, why not? How can we improve in the coming month? And if we did reach our goal, we will enter into the next month with renewed motivation and a spirit to continue succeeding. By contrast, if we set our goalposts in the distant future, it is easy to go off-course, as our target is nowhere in sight. Worse still, with no waypoints on the path toward our goal, there are no opportunities to determine whether we are on track. If we do happen to realize we have become lost, the trouble of course correcting may seem so daunting that we abandon the trip altogether. And thus we find our ambitions delayed another year.

As you prepare for the year ahead, form a mental picture of how you would like your 2022 to look. Include in it your hopes and dreams for every aspect of your life, including your family and friends, your career, and your aspirations for personal and spiritual growth. Consider the non-negotiables—that is, the things you absolutely must do in the days, weeks, and months ahead, in order to turn your mental picture for this year into a reality. In doing this, you will create a roadmap for each goal. From there, you can set goalposts in short intervals at which you can check your progress and make any necessary adjustments. The pillar on which all of this will rest is, of course, resolve. If you find yourself unable to stick to your resolutions, the solution is not to lower your expectations, but to learn (gradually) how to become more disciplined. This will help you in all aspects of your life, not just with accomplishing goals.

By performing regular self-audits and learning to measure our successes in baby steps, rather than in giant leaps, we will reap the benefits of regular introspection and frequently enjoy a feeling of accomplishment. Make regular commitments and regular improvements, not annual ones. It need not take a holiday to usher in a happier, more complete you. In short, resolve to do better always, not merely when the clock strikes 12.