Remembering My Sister Bita

Bernabita Caceres was born on June 11, 1930

Beethoven AdagioD. Yee

00:00 / 05:25

Daughter

My sister Bita as a DAUGHTER was the oldest sibling among us. Her remarkable qualities emerged at a young age, as she displayed great obedience to our parents and a strong dedication to her studies and household responsibilities. As the eldest sister, Bita earned the respect and admiration of her siblings both through the personal integrity she exhibited and the sincere love she showed for us all. Bita was the daughter who always took care of my father Antonio and my mother Celia, wherever she was. No matter the time and distance that separated them, Bita cared for our parents as a good daughter would, with endless filial love and respect.

Mama Celia always had a special place in her heart for Bita. I have vivid childhood and adolescent memories of my mother sending parcels to Bita, from Trujillo to Lima, through the Chinchaysuyo travel agency. Biscuits and alfajores from Castaneda were always present in these packages, as well as fruits and other goods for Bita to enjoy with her family. Through this simple act, my mother Celia regularly expressed her dedication and motherly love for Bita.

During the celebration of the Golden Wedding Anniversary of our parents Antonio and Celia, Bita and I were honored as godmother and godfather at the Mass of Appreciation at the Church of the Miraculous Medal in Trujillo in 1978. This celebration was attended by my brother-in-law Luis Caceres Silva, my sisters, and various other members of the family, including my sister Nathalie.

Sister

Bita as a SISTER taught us through words and deeds how to love and care for each other as siblings. All of us, without exception, had the highest respect and personal esteem for her. When we lived on Leoncio Prado street in Jesús María, Lima, we siblings always strove to keep the house clean and in good order, as Bita would notice if we had been untidy. If anything at all was out of place, it was she we would have to.

Bita's place in many of our hearts was much more than that of a sister. For me in particular, she was like a second mom. To share in totality the beautiful memories I have of our time together would eclipse the aim of this tribute, so I will share but one example of her maternal qualities. On one of the summers I spent at her home in Miraflores, Bita took me to an eye doctor and purchased glasses for me. Wanting the best for her little brother, she took me to a US-trained specialist's office, where I was able to try on contact lenses, which had only just made their way to Peru.

Bita was madrina de matrimonio during my marriage to Fe on June 19, 1993, and walked the aisle with me at St. Hedwig Church in California.

Following the death of our parents, Bita persevered in her role as everyone's older sister, communicating with us and helping us in whatever capacity she could.

Bita always had a very close relationship with Clarita and her children, Joseph and Christopher. When Joseph found out about Bita's death, he said, “My aunt Bita is going to be with my mom Clara and her other sisters in heaven.” And Christopher's message: “I am happy to have met my aunt Bita when I was in Peru, and on my trip to Trujillo.”

The same thing happened with Margarita and her children. Bita was a dearest and most special aunt to all of them. I remember very well that Bita arrived at Margarita's house days after her funeral, and Miguelito, Elizabeth, and Sandra hugged and cried together with their aunt Bita. It was Bita who gave them the moral support and comfort they needed in those difficult times.

In recent years, despite her precarious health, Bita asked me to inform and coordinate the care of Vilma, who had breast cancer with brain metastases, so that her hospice care and other health needs could be met at her home at the home of our cousin Mariza. We worked together in this way until Vilma passed away.

All throughout the years, Bita continued to communicate with me and my sister Rosa. For a long time we talked regularly on the phone on Sunday afternoons. Rosa passed away at the end of November 2021, but Carito and I thought it best not to tell Bita.

Nurse

Bita as a NURSE was a dedicated and exceedingly “compassionate angel.” Bita studied at the only nursing school at the time—the Archbishop Loayza Hospital in Lima. On more than one occasion I bore witness to her genuine love and dedication to providing care to those in need.

It was Bita who brought Clarita to Lima for an emergency operation. So, too, was it was Bita who took me to Lima so one of her her surgeon friends could perform an operation to repair a wound in my abdominal wall left from an appendectomy operation in Trujillo, when I was in Pre-Med. Bita also took care of her father-in-law, Luis Caceres Silva's father, when she had the opportunity to do so. Bita was also there to give encouragement and moral support to all my sisters who battled breast cancer—Clara, Margarita, Luciana, and Vilma.

Bita, as the first nurse and the oldest sister in the house, was the one who planted the seeds of medical vocation in several of her siblings. Following Bita's example, Clarita became the second nurse in the family. For over 25 years, Clara worked hard in the intensive care unit at Lakewood Regional Medical Center in California. Bita was also the one who inspired Margarita to study nursing at the National University of Trujillo. And finally, for me, Bita was a most important instrument in my decision to study and pursue a career in medicine.

But the story does not end with her siblings, her influence having now proven multigenerational. Bita's youngest son David also studied medicine and became a lung specialist, studying in one of the most prestigious schools and hospitals in Lima. Miguelito, Margarita's eldest son, is also a doctor and cardiologist specializing in heart arrhythmias. Elizabeth and Gianfranco are licensed vocational nurses. Clara's son Christopher is a pediatrician working in Minnesota, and Joseph is professor of radiology technology and chair of the department at Long Beach City College. Finally, my younger son Steven chose a second career, and God willing, will graduate as a nurse in December of this year, while my older son, Joseph Caceres, is studying to be a radiology technician under the direction of Joseph, Clara's son.

Bita's Marriage

As I understand it, sometime during Bita's years working at the Archbishop Loayza Hospital, she met Mr. Luis Caceres Silva. The two fell in love, and with mutual consent of their parents, they were married by civil and religious authority in the Church of San Francisco, Trujillo.

After the Mass, all the weddings guests convened at our house on Huallaga 109. Lunch and drinks were served, and many people also danced with the Manolo Álvarez orchestra. Around 3 pm, Lucho and Bita went on their honeymoon, but the party continued until after 8 pm. I can still vividly remember the couples dancing and the musicians playing boleros and songs from that era.

The photo to the right is very precious to me. Standing, starting from the left, is my sister Clarita, Rosa, Luciana, and Adriana. Next to Lucho, my dad is standing with Vilma and Dorita is sitting on his lap. Next to Bita, is my mom Celia. Finally, there is Margarita, who is staring intently at Lucho and Bita as they hold hands, and Pepe, the only man in the family.

Bita as a WIFE was a devoted spouse who loved her husband and remained faithful to him for all her life. As a newlywed experiencing a new stage in her life, Bita quickly adapted to the the demands of being a wife while her husband Lucho continued to advance in his career at Real Estate San Andrés.

Initially, Lucho and Bita lived in an apartment. I remember that after Carolina was born, her father brought a new toy for her almost every day, as a token of his paternal love. I imagine that Bita very soon had to learn to juggle attending to her husband's needs and those of her first daughter, the apple of her eye.

I remember that when I was 10 years old, my brother-in-law took me to eat ice cream near the house, and then he parked in the lot of Capitán José Quiñones 280 in Miraflores, where he told me he was going to build his house. This was a memorable experience for me, since only Lucho and I were in his car, which made me feel like a very important person.

Because there is no such thing as a perfect couple or family, I am sure that Bita in her role as wife had many challenges to face, but at the end of the day, the many birthday photos of Carito, Lourdes, Luchito and David that have come down to offer undeniable proof that her two daughters and her two sons grew up in a home where respect and love were solid values.

Mother

Bita as a MOTHER was a selfless woman with genuine love and absolute dedication to her children. I am convinced that Bita and her husband applied themselves to the fullest extent with respect to their children's upbringing, education, and the teaching and practice of human values fundamental to the lives and futures of children.

Like Lucho, Bita was very generous to me by inviting me to spend a number of summers at her house. I have fond memories of David playing in a bathtub with a yellow plastic duck. I played many soccer games with Lucho and David in the backyard of Bita's house, and broke many flowers and plants in the process. She never scolded us for this, but asked us to be more careful the next time we played.

As in other families, each of my nephews had different personalities and inclinations to explore life, especially when they became teenagers. Lourdes, for example, liked bullfighting and was an active fan of the ring; Carolina learned to play the piano; Luchito was more demure; and David more adventurous and outgoing.

I am sure that Carito, Lourdes, Lucho, and David have many fond memories of all the big and small things that their Mama Bita did for each of them, from the time they were children through their success as adults.

Friend

Bita as a FRIEND stood out for her loyalty and trustworthiness among the circle of friends she began cultivating as a nursing student. Over the years, Bita developed friendships with her neighbors and the mothers of her four children's friends. In this capacity, Bita participated in the activities of her children's schools and colleges, and in the parishes near her home.

However, what impressed me the most was her love, dedication and volunteer work at her alma mater, the Archbishop Loayza Hospital. There she worked without compensation for many years until her health no longer allowed her to continue. When Bita asked me to make a contribution to the hospital, I gladly agreed.

For this above all else I am proud of my sister Bita. There as a volunteer in the hospital she spent days, weeks, months, and finally years working with a genuine desire to make a difference in the lives of all people who needed her help.

Bita persevered in this endeavor and insisted on going to the hospital at least once a week, even when she began to need a cane to avoid falling while she walked.

Bita lived a life of love and service for others, beginning with her family, and radiating outward to anyone in need, under any circumstances.

Legacy

The LEGACY Bita leaves for her sisters, for her brother Pepe, and for her four children lies neither in what she accomplished nor in her material possessions, but instead in Bita herself, for the integrity of her person and the human values that she embodied.

For Bita, love and dedication to her husband and children were a priority in life.

In truth, Bita was relatively happy on this earth because she saw past her own struggles and attended to the needs of others whose circumstances were worse than her own.

Bita was a unique woman in the sense that in a simple and understated manner she knew how to live a great life in the eyes of God, by going through life's ordinary motions in an extraordinary way, with the love of her family and others at the center of her being.

It is my sincere wish that Bita's departure, on April 30, 2022, to Our Heavenly Father be a special and unique occasion for her family to be more united than ever in the love of God and of one another so as to honor the memory of Bita and Lucho—two parents who did their very best for their children.

Let us not look to the past nor worry about a future that only God can know. Now is the time to live in the present and forgive each other for past misgivings—big and small—because life is simply too short to harbor resentments that have no place in the minds and hearts of children of such loving parents.

Bernabita Caceres passed away on April 30, 2022.

I was always keenly aware of the admiration and affection I felt toward Bita, but I never understood the full extent of my love for her until Our Lord took her away.

I first learned that Bita was very ill from Carolina and David. Initially I decided to travel to see her the first week of April, but as I was preparing to buy my ticket, I read the requirements to return to the US under COVID restrictions and I did not have the courage to trust God and travel. On April 17, I bought the tickets to travel with Fe to Lima and visit Bita the first weekend of May and then spend Mother's Day with her. Lourdes made plans to travel from Florida, and we were going to meet in Peru.

I had never been so excited to travel to Lima to see my sister as this time. On the morning of Saturday, April 30, I began to prepare my bags, five days before traveling on May 5. That same day, while working at home doing paperwork, Lourdes broke the sad news to me that Bita had just passed away around 1:30 pm California time. By then I had already prayed two rosaries for Bita.

I immediately canceled my trip and went to 5 pm mass. At the time, I appeared to be tranquil. However, the next day I began to cry like a child without consolation, feeling orphaned for having lost my older sister, who was indeed like a second mother to me.

I spent nearly all day on the phone with Natalia, who flew to Lima the same day, and with Adriana who arrived in Lima that night. I contacted Carolina and David and asked Carito to order three flower arrangements on behalf of the family, and later asked Natalia to order one more. My despair was such that I was unable to eat or sleep.

On Monday I had to go to work in the morning, but I only saw the patients who were scheduled for cardiac catheterization. At 1 pm Peruvian time, as Bita's funeral Mass was taking place, I prayed the rosary, and an hour later I was at St. Peter Chanel at the Mass for the soul of my sister Bita.